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Sujata, My Mother, My Wife

My name is Vikram (name changed) and I live in India.

I was born as the only child to my parents when my mother was barely sixteen years old and my father was 27 years old then. He used to work in a hazardous chemical factory in shifts. As the earnings were not good enough we lived in a small studio apartment which is called one room kitchen, where you have a living room a kitchen and a toilet no bedroom.

As my mother Sujata had married my father when she was only fifteen and the next year I was born so she had to discontinue her studies to look after me. But she was determined to study further so after 3 years she got admission to a collage and completed her degree in three years. I was also studious as her and always tried hard to excel in school.

My mother did a great job to educate me at home I remember she often used to sit with me for hours and make me recite poems, math tables, spellings etc. Her continuous monitoring always angered me. But all this paid off when I got admission to an engineering collage. I selected mechanical engineering as in those days computers were unheard of otherwise I would have preferred computer science.

Now let me tell you something at my home. As I have mentioned we lived in a studio apartment there was hardly any privacy for my parents. Till I was 7-8 years old we all slept in the living room. I had a different bed which was placed perpendicular at a distance from my parent's bed.

As I grew older my parents started sleeping in the kitchen. In the night my mother would place a mattress in the kitchen where they both slept. This would happen when my father was doing a day shift. I remember all this changed when I was about sixteen. I noticed my parents never slept together even if my father was having a holiday.

I wondered what the matter was. I was scared that my parents would divorce. I even suspected that my father would be taking another woman. Fortunately nothing that sort of happened. Meanwhile my mother took up a job as a school teacher and soon became popular in the school.

But things were not going smoothly at home as I noticed my father used to come home with a very pale face every passing day he appeared more tired. Once I asked him to get himself examined but he ignored. One day the inevitable happened we got a phone call at around midnight that my father has lost consciousness and is hospitalized.

My mother started crying I was also in tears and did not know what to do. My mother hugged me and I tried to comfort her but she would not stop crying. There was no transport available at midnight. So early next morning we went to see him. He was all but a pale shadow of himself as we knew him. We both hugged my father, we knew there was something wrong with him but what it was we were about to be told.

A young doctor examined my father and read the blood reports etc. and called me outside the room while my mother was by my father. "Look here, at this report. This says your father's body is poisoned by continuous exposure to the hazardous chemicals." I was terrified to know that.

"We could have done something if you had come earlier but it's too late now the damage to his internal organs and nervous system is irreversible only some miracle can save him now." This was a shock for me. I could hardly stand on my feet.

"At the most you can ask for compensation from the employer and I promise I will make a very strong report in your favor."

At that moment I felt somebody has taken life out of my limbs but I gathered myself and went smiling into the room to see my father.

"What did the doctor say?" asked my father.

"There is some problem with your blood reports but you should be alright."

My father somehow knew he was not going home so he asked me to come near him and said "Look Vikram I know my time has come. I can feel it I can see the death coming. But I am not worried about it. I am worried about you and your mother." Tears rolled down my cheeks. My mother was also sobbing.

"I want two promises from you."

"Tell me father what you want me to do?" I asked.

"Complete your collage and do not get distracted by my death."

"What's the other one?" I asked.

"I want you to look after your mother and don't you ever leave her alone."

"I would have done that even if you did not ask me," I assured him.

For the next few days he was in the hospital. He died a very painful death. We were devastated. My mother was shocked as we never expected this to happen in such a young age. After the mourning period was over I took my mother to a lawyer and filed a case for compensation.

Next day two top officials from the company came to our home for asking us to negotiate an out of court settlement. My mother was in no mood to talk so I had to talk with them. I told them that I will inform you after discussing with our lawyer to which they agreed. The next day I went to my lawyer but he had gone in an emergency to his native place to see his father and was expected back only after one month.

So I decided to negotiate with the company on my own. I negotiated a very good amount from the company and dropped the case. Suddenly I found myself in charge of the situation. My mother was also proud of me for I kept my cool and acted like a man in charge a real man at the age of just eighteen.

For the next four years I did not let myself distract by anything and went about my business as usual and completed my collage and took up a job in an engineering company in a town nearby. I asked my mother to move with me but she refused to give up her job and move with me. Again as I was the man of the house I convinced her that she can get a job in that town too.

She reluctantly agreed, we sold the apartment and I bought a brand new independent house Ground+ 1 from the money we received after selling the apartment and partly from the money we received as compensation. I also bought a used car for us.

My mother was more than happy when we moved in the house as she always dreamt of a bungalow of her own. This was a dream come true for her. But quickly her happiness vanished from her face as she went into her shell again.

She started to think about my father again and became depressed. This was worrying for me as she had resigned from her job on my insistence and she had nothing to do at home but think about the past. I considered this as my responsibility to take her out of this.

In those days I never stayed late in the office as to be with her as early as possible. She had also started wearing white saris meant for widows. I could not take this anymore as this was something self-inflicted. She was doing fine but just because she had nothing to do at home she had gone back into her sell. "Empty mind is a devil's workshop."

She was so beautiful and her self-inflicted grief was not doing any good to her. I sometimes used to get turned on with slightest glimpse of her cleavage but then I used to feel guilty of having such a feeling in my mind. I was now 23 years old and I had never been with any girl or a woman before.

Forget being with any woman I was not even very comfortable talking to them. All these years I dedicated myself to collage and studies and now I was putting my whole effort to earn a living for me and my mother.

I was not getting any satisfaction by relieving myself with my own help. I needed a woman desperately. But who could be this woman? The only woman who I knew and was comfortable with was my own mom. Lately I had started fantasizing about having sex with my own mom. Initially I used to feel guilty about it but I could not help it.

But now the priority was different. She needed my help and support. I decided to take her out of this self-inflicted grief. One Friday I came early.

"Look ma what I have brought for you."

"What is it? Any new vegetable?" without even coming out of kitchen she fired those two shots.

"C'mon ma, just come out and see."

"Wait a minute let me cook this first."

"That's enough."

I went into the kitchen put off the gas, hold her left arm with my left hand and put my right arm around her waist and dragged her out of the kitchen into the living room.

"What are you doing son?"

"Even your father has never dragged me like this."

"Ma I am the man of the house now and you must stop grieving now it is enough."

My mother was more than happy when we moved in the house as she always dreamt of a bungalow of her own. This was a dream come true for her. But quickly her happiness vanished from her face as she went into her shell again. She started to think about my father again and became depressed. This was worrying for me as she had resigned from her job on my insistence and she had nothing to do at home but think about the past. I considered this as my responsibility to take her out of this.

In those days I never stayed late in the office as to be with her as early as possible. She had also started wearing white saris meant for widows. I could not take this anymore as this was something self-inflicted. She was doing fine but just because she had nothing to do at home she had gone back into her sell. "Empty mind is a devil's workshop."

She was so beautiful and her self-inflicted grief was not doing any good to her. I sometimes used to get turned on with slightest glimpse of her cleavage but then I used to feel guilty of having such a feeling in my mind. I was now 23 years old and I had never been with any girl or a woman before. Forget being with any woman I was not even very comfortable talking to them.

All these years I dedicated myself to collage and studies and now I was putting my whole effort to earn a living for me and my mother. I was not getting any satisfaction by relieving myself with my own help. I needed a woman desperately. But who could be this woman? The only woman who I knew and was comfortable with was my own mom. Lately I had started fantasizing about having sex with my own mom.
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